She’s Just Not That Into You

Dan is a 22 year old Journalism student from New York City navigating the world of hookups and dating. The result? Hilarious, often awkward, stories and lessons he’s sharing with our readers.

A few weeks ago a friend gave me her sister’s number.

“You’re going to get along so well,” she told me.

This was my first real set up so naturally, I was nervous. Finally, after waiting the necessary two (Three? Four? Which is it? Who made up these rules anyway?) days I manned up and texted her.

Okay, so I didn’t really man up. Manning up would mean boldly calling her. This was more along the lines of boy-ing up.

In any case, I texted her that night and asked her if she wanted to grab a drink that Thursday. She accepted. Phew.

We kept talking every other day and finally, Thursday came. I was really excited because a) she was cool and b) I had obviously Facebook stalked the sh*t out of her and she was surprisingly really cute.

The date went well. I was so concerned with doing the right things, being my usual gentlemanly and charming self, and felt that I did a good job. For the first time in my life, I didn’t over think my every move and played everything cool.

I left feeling pretty confident in this great first date.

Or, at least I thought it was a great first date… until the end. Instead of the kiss I had imagined, she went in for the very obvious hug.

No kiss!? What?!

According to my friends, a first date kiss isn’t mandatory. But it had seemed like she had fun. I mean, I had had fun. A hug just didn’t make sense in my book.

Even though the hug was off-putting, I decided to text her again any way. We spoke through the next week, but I just wasn’t getting the vibe that she was enjoying talking to me as much as I was to her.

After a few more days, I left it alone and stopped being the one to text her every time. She never texted me first, and we haven’t spoken since. I felt rejected at first, but then had a mini-epiphany: no matter how great you think – even KNOW – you did, no matter if you felt the connection or not, you can’t control how other people feel.

If she wasn’t as into me as I was to her, there was nothing I could do, but it wasn’t for lack of effort. At least I came away from the experience knowing I really gave it my best.

Have you ever had an experience where you felt like you really ‘clicked’ with someone only to find out they just weren’t that into you? Let us know in a comment!

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